Hardbodies (1984) Movie

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(Hollywood) USA

Ratings / Votes
4.4/ 10 (1459 Votes)

MPAA Ratings

Production Company
Chroma III Productions [us]
Columbia Pictures Corporation [us]

Production Designer

All Producers

All Directors


Release Date
(USA) - 4 May 1984

Running Time

If you don't know what they are, you don't know what you're missing.

beach, beach-blanket, beach-bunny, beach-house, cheesecake, cult-film, cult-film, female-nudity, hot-dog-stand, legs, middle-age, middle-aged-man, nude-model, obscene-finger-gesture, older-man-younger-woman-relationship, psychotronic, sex-comedy, sex-on-beach, sex-on-the-beach, swimsuit, teen-sex-comedy, title-spoken-by-character, yanked-off-bikini-top,

Technical Support
OFM:35 mm
PFM:35 mm
RAT:1.85 : 1

Related Pictures

Pictures of Hardbodies (1984) Movie not found

Full Cast

  1. Anderson, Deke as (uncredited) [Bodybuilder]
  2. Cramer, Grant as [Scotty] <1>
  3. Gains, Courtney as [Rag] <8>
  4. Gold, Steve (I) as [Farnsey] <46>
  5. Hart, Chuck as [Young Geek] <16>
  6. Hedlund, Laurie as [Vixen - Drums] <28>
  7. Hodder, Kane (I) as [Older Geek] <17>
  8. Katzoff, Marvin as [Dorky Geek] <13>
  9. Kaufman, Scott (I) as [Krak - Group in Club] <41>
  10. Miller, Michael (V) as [Landlord] <15>
  11. Pickard, Sorrells as [Ashby] <5>
  12. Ponzini, Antony as (as Anthony Ponzini) [Rocco] <12>
  13. Rapport, Michael as [Rounder] <4>
  14. Spector, David (I) as [Krak - Group in Club] <43>
  15. Steele, John (II) as [Krak - Group in Club] <42>
  16. Waldo, Kip as [Head Geek] <14>
  17. Wilson, Mark (VII) as [Partygoer] <45>
  18. Wood, Gary (I) as [Hunter] <3>
  19. Workman, Steve (I) as [Hair Stylist] <23>
  20. Always, Julie as [Photo Session Hardbody] <31>
  21. Anderson, Dee (I) as [Bodybuilder] <40>
  22. Baker, Louise (II) as [Rocco's Girl] <36>
  23. Bath, Laurie as [Rocco's Girl] <38>
  24. Bremmer, Leslee as [Photo Session Hardbody] <32>
  25. Collins, Roberta as [Lana] <6>
  26. DeMoss, Darcy as [Dede] <11>
  27. Dockery, Erika as [Hardbody in Car] <19>
  28. Easton, Jackie as [Girl in Dressing Room] <24>
  29. Gardner, Janet as [Vixen - Lead Vocals] <25>
  30. Garfield, Kit as (as Kit Hamilton) [Hardbody in Car] <18>
  31. Gonzalez, Dana as [Rocco's Girl] <37>
  32. Hartley, Lorena as [Rocco's Girl] <39>
  33. Ivanov, Tamara as [Vixen - Rhythm Guitar] <29>
  34. Jameson, Joyce as [Rounder's Mom] <47>
  35. Karr, Marcia as [Hardbody on Stairs] <44>
  36. Kelly, Karen Lee as [Hardbody on Bike] <20>
  37. Kinmont, Kathleen as [Pretty Skater] <22>
  38. Kuehnemund, Jan as [Vixen - Lead Guitar] <26>
  39. LaVoie, Karen as [Jogging Hardbody] <21>
  40. Lawrence, Juli as [Nicki] <30>
  41. Longstreth, Emily as (uncredited) [Girl on Skates]
  42. Lybrand, Karen as [Photo Session Hardbody] <34>
  43. Maiocco, Pia as [Vixen - Bass] <27>
  44. Riccio, Tina as [Photo Session Hardbody] <33>
  45. Roberts, Teal as [Kristi] <2>
  46. Scardilli, Deborah as [Rocco's Girl] <35>
  47. Shaw, Crystal (I) as [Candy] <10>
  48. Silver, Cindy (I) as [Kimberly] <7>
  49. Somers, Kristi as [Michelle] <9>


  1. Comedy

Full Plot

Three middle-aged daddies visit California to have a marvelous time at the beach. When they learn that a nice apartment and an expensive cabriolet isn't enough for them to score with the chicks, they employ a student to help them. At first he's as disgusted of them and his job as his girlfriend, but soon they find out how to use the situation to everyone's benefit. Tom Zoerner Plot not found

Total Business

GR: USD 7,031,405 (USA) (28 May 1984) GR: USD 6,464,922 (USA) (20 May 1984) GR: USD 5,257,965 (USA) (13 May 1984) GR: USD 2,684,599 (USA) (6 May 1984) GR: USD 7,121,719 (USA) OW: USD 2,684,599 (USA) (6 May 1984) WG: USD 326,148 (USA) (28 May 1984) (296 screens) WG: USD 532,834 (USA) (20 May 1984) (505 screens) WG: USD 1,840,580 (USA) (13 May 1984) WG: USD 2,684,599 (USA) (6 May 1984)

Movie Certificate

18+ (Canada)(Quebec)
R (Canada)(Manitoba/Nova Scotia/Ontario)
16 (Iceland)


  1. Richmond, Tom (I) (director of photography)


Anchor Bay Entertainment [us] - (2009) (USA) (DVD)
Columbia Pictures [us] - (1984) (USA) (theatrical)
RCA/Columbia Pictures Home Video [us] - (1996) (USA) (VHS)

Film Editors

  1. Blumenthal, Andy (I)


  1. Cotura, Michael (production assistant)
  2. Digrazio, Randy (choreographer)
  3. Dunn, Harry (I) (production assistant)
  4. Epperson, Jon (stand-in)
  5. Fienberg, Gregg (I) (location manager)
  6. Hacohen, Ron (production assistant)
  7. Lan, Nguyen Kim (title designer)
  8. Levin, Sy (location coordinator)
  9. McMahon, Kate (I) (production coordinator)
  10. O'Connor, Geof (production assistant)
  11. Rigg, Nancy (I) (continuity: second unit)
  12. Roda, Robert (production coordinator) (as Rob Roda)
  13. Welles, Kirsten (production assistant)
  14. Weygand, Kathryn (continuity)


Ashby: [sings country-style with guitar] She was a young thing in the prime of her life, Standing there lookin' as cute as could be. So I walked on over and asked her her name - I'm still not believin' what she said to me... "I don't f*** fossils for free, old man. I don't f*** fossils for free. So just go on home and take matters in hand, 'Cause I don't f*** fossils for free." Rag: She's stuck up, dude. She thinks I'm a scuzz. Scotty Palmer: Be Scottitfitous, buddy. Ashby: Yeah, well, I've seen more than one old bull blow out his balls and his brains at the same time. Rounder: Well, dip my skinny. Rounder: Party party party party! Hunter: Whatever turns you on - a little wine, Jacuz-arooski, sex. Hunter: 15? I have underwear 15 years old. Scotty Palmer: I didn't pick them up. I dialogued them. Hunter: Dialogued them? Scotty Palmer: Yeah, I gave them a little dose of the old BBD. Hunter: BBD? Rounder: That's not like herpes, is it? Scotty Palmer: BBD - it's the bigger and better deal. Rag: Brewski? Kimberly: No, thanks. I'm watching my figure. Rag: Yeah, me too. Ashby: Michelle, what do you do? Michelle: Well, that all depends on who I'm with. Michelle: Why, Ashby darling, you want romance? Read a novel. You want me? I'm upstairs. Hunter: Party time! Ba-ba! Scotty Palmer: No, he's got a case of blue balls - you know, love nuts. Dede: God, Rounder, it's so big and scary. Rounder: Touch it again, it's been so long. Hunter: Tit for tat. Kristi: My tits for whose tat. Rocco: Listen, kiddo, I always treat my business partners right. May God rest their souls. Hunter: I spill no wine before it's time. Rounder: You're a sick man. Candy: You don't know what it's like when people call you names like airhead, dingaling, yo-yo, bimbo. There's no way you can know that Scotty. Kimberly: An hour? There's gonna be nothing left of us except a pile of white bones. Farnsey: My friends call me Farnsey, my enemies call me collect. Rag: What? The kid? Stick scammin' jammin' Scotty Palmer? No way! Scotty Palmer: Rounder, you get an "A" for enthusiasm, but an "F" for technique. Hunter: How about a "J" for jerkoff? Ashby: Hey, son, I'd as soon have an inch cut off my dick than get my hair cut here. Hair Stylist: Whatever turns you on, Tex. Young Geek: Suck shit!

Shooting/Filming Locations

  1. Big Weenies Are Better - 1717 Wilcox Ave, Los Angeles, California, USA
  2. Hermosa Beach, California, USA - (beach and biker bar scenes)


- Originally made for Playboy TV, but released as a feature film instead.

- The all-female rock band in the movie, Diaper Rash, was played by the band Vixen, who had a hit in the 80's "The Edge of a Broken Heart".